Not like Spanish gyms. There’s one in northern Spain that’s just announced it’s going to offer naked workout sessions to target nudists who want to get into shape. Personally, I would have thought you’d get into shape before you became a nudist but maybe I’m just too considerate.

The gym’s called Easy Gym and by the sound of it, they’re about to get a lot easier. Apparently they’re going nude because clothed business wasn’t going so well and they needed to increase their customers. I think nude workouts mean they’re guaranteed to be seeing some new members.

Said the owner: “We knew we had to innovate because we were losing clients. Times are hard.” There’s a joke there about them being about to get even harder but honestly, I’m way too classy to make it. Plus I’m too busy wondering whether offering nude workouts means they’ll actually lose more clients.

I don’t know too many people who’d want to bench press in the vicinity of a pressed ham. If the gym’s yoga sessions are nudist, surely nobody wants to see that Downward Dog. And as one of their non-nudist clients was quoted as saying: “They want me to be hygienic, with clean shoes, towels, etc … but when I go there now and sit on the exercise bike, what am I going to find?” Hopefully, just the pedals. Failing that, they could always change the name to Greasy Gym.

The same client stated: “I think the managers are stupid to do this just to get money.” It’s not just for money, they’re also copping an eyeful. Something tells me they won’t have trouble filling the shifts on nude day. (And by the way, “filling the shifts” is neither a euphemism nor a misprint.)

Here’s what really gets me: apparently one of the biggest criticisms levelled at these nudist workout sessions is that they won’t be suitable for women who need to wear sports bras. What about men who need to wear sports bras? Was it wrong of me to send an email suggesting that perhaps they could all just keep things in place with some cling wrap tightly wound around the upper torso?